Displayed on a shelf in the entry way of my mother’s home is a book entitled To A Child Love Is Spelled T-I-M-E. I have often thought about that statement and how much truth it holds. It’s easy for us to say “I love you” but those three words, devoid of action and the gift of our quality time, are simply that—just words. As we celebrate this season of sentiment and affection, let us show our littlest valentines just how special they really are.
40 simple ways to show your child love:
- Take them to a movie they want to see.
- Go on a treasure hunt (collect all the loose change around the house/car) together and then make a trip to the arcade with your findings.
- Take a long nature walk together, at their pace. Let them lead the conversation.
- Find qualities about them that you genuinely love, and compliment them in front of others.
- Frame a photo of the two of you, and display it in their room.
- Put a few Hershey’s Hugs in one of their coat pockets, and Kisses in the other.
- Play a game with them.
- Let them win.
- Make bath time special. Add lots of bubbles, colored soaps, maybe you could purchase a new tub toy or let them play with things found around the house. I let my kids play with things like colanders and funnels from the kitchen—they love it. Don’t forget to warm the towel!
- Send them a handmade card in the mail with a coupon to go get ice cream with you.
- Gather all the home movies that feature them as the “star” and have a movie night complete with popcorn and treats.
- Using blankets and chairs, or a card table, build a clubhouse together and have a picnic inside.
- Read “I love you” books together.
- Let them stay up past their bedtime with you and watch cartoon classics together.
- Do a chore that is normally reserved for them.
- Tuck an encouraging note inside their lunchbox.
- Give them your full attention.
- Tell them some of the ways they make you happy.
- Make them laugh.
- Laugh with them.
- Make their favorite treat to welcome them home from school with.
- Show them your joy when they arrive.
- Ask for hugs and kisses.
- Listen, and let them make their own decisions whenever possible.
- Make them a coupon book filled with things they’d enjoy doing, or things they’d like to get out of doing.
- Take a day off from everything: work, household duties, technology, etc. and focus entirely on them.
- Cook together.
- Write them a poem using the initials of their name.
- Decorate their room for no reason.
- Create a sign that lavishes them with praise.
- Kidnap them from school and take them out for lunch.
- Make home a fun place to be.
- Make a treasure box from an old shoe box, fill it with “gold” (chocolate coins) and make an official looking treasure map with clues for them to locate the hidden treasure with.
- Go to the store and let them pick out all the ingredients to make banana splits. Make and eat them together.
- Wrap up in a warm blanket together and take turns making up stories to tell each other.
- Make a list of things you love about them and put it on their pillow before bedtime.
- Talk about what they did in their day at dinnertime.
- Sit down together and write a list of fun activities to do in a day. Write each idea on small slips of paper, roll up the papers and stick them inside balloons. Blow up all the balloons and then pop one balloon at a time until you’ve completed all the activities.
- Play back rub/tickle games—ie; Spider crawling up your back…
- Make a CD with all their favorite tunes and have a dance party.
~Candace
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What a nice idea for a list!
My son loves pancakes and he loves to cook them with me. (Definitely love on my part – and dedication to keep my cool with a not-yet-three-year-old chef in the kitchen!)
Reading a bunch of books for “no reason” (i.e. outside the bedtime routine).
In warmer weather – picnic lunch at his favorite playground on the way home from preschool. :)
This is one of my favorite Mom topics! What a geat list! I blog every week about parent/child play. As a Registered Play Therapist Supervisor I feel like we have forgotten how to truly be present and engage our children with play. In my work, I often have to teach parents how to put away the “stuff” and play with their kiddos.
I loved your comment. I have a hard time spending quality time with my 5 year old. I don’t know how to play fake-believe and I tend to just take my “stuff” out and send him on his way or something. Help!
The best thing to do is just put down the stuff and listen to him! Let him lead you in the play, you would be amazed where you get to go! Just playing with a child 10 minutes a day can make their whole day!
I agree with Dani. Let them lead. My favorite time of the day with my kindergartner is waiting for the bus together. The things he says and tells me during that time. It’s precious. Today’s what if was “What if I had a dog as a chef and he made me a cherry snow cone when I came home from school. And what if he baked it into a cake!” Needless to say, we made snow cones when he got home from school today.
Allow them to lead and take you along on their imaginary ride through life.
Love that :) I think too often we reply with “oh you’re so silly” when really that is their imagination and creativity at play. Great comment, thanks so much for sharing!
We play a lot at our house. My son actually told me and my husband last week that he doesn’t want to grow up and be a daddy. He wants to be a mommy. His reasoning was that because daddies go to work and mommies play all day. If that is what he thinks, that is just fun by me. :-)
sweet
you must be proud, i wish to be a great mom like you in the future
candace, darling, we are on the same wave length here. i have a post set and ready to go for next friday about how to love your children! and of course it includes a list, too. ha. i guess i’ll wait until my post publishes and i’ll link my ideas here. we should collaborate since we think so much alike! :)
love this post, and so many little ideas I had never thought of. I want that book….I bet it is a good one.
Ways I show love….whenever they want to cuddle, I drop what I am doing and scoop them up and cuddle, sing, dance, rock, whatever it is they need at that moment.
Love this! Even though my daughter only turns 1 this month, I changed YOUR CHILD to her name and printed this list off. :) Thank you!
And it doesn’t matter if your child is 19 mos. or 19 years (dear Lord going on 20 next month) they still need to be hugged, told they’re loved and learn to make their own decisions (and mistakes) and praised so when they are that 19 year old you know you’ve done a better than good job with them! I’ll share a for instance here if y’all will let me –
Y’all have probably picked up from some of my other posts that I’m about 9 mos. into a separation and heading toward a divorce in May. He and I dated for 10 years and were married for almost 7 years. My girl was 2 when he came into our lives. About 3 mos. ago my girl, Meghan repeated a conversation to me that she’d with my mother about how Meghan was dealing with the way things were going at home. She told my mom that while she knew she could always depend on him to be there if needed him to be and they would always be friends, that I was both her mother and father all wrapped up in one and that no matter what happened, she knew that I would always be there for her.
To me, that is what a parent lives for – those moments when your child makes you think you’ve done a really good job and they “re-pay” ten-fold!
Oh, I waited to start crying until she left the room!
Didn’t mean to spoil the moment or bring the mood down – but that – to me – was a very proud “mommy moment”!
You are right – no matter how young or old they need to be hugged & tell them you love them. They also need to understand that just because we might be mad at something they did, or upset because of a disagreement, it does not change that fact that we love them dearly…unconditionally.
I didn’t really get that when I was growing up and I think that is why I was always looking for a man to “complete me” …someone who would tell me he loved me.
We all want to feel loved! Well my first marriage didn’t last long as I realized that even though the man I married said he loved me, he had no idea what that really meant.
I am on a mission to never let my children feel that way…I want to make sure their world is filled with unconditional love that they will never doubt! I don’t want my daughters to feel the way I did. I want them to grow up to be strong, independent, happy young women who don’t HAVE to be in a relationship to feel complete, but that find their sole mate by being the wonderful persons they are…
It sounds like your daughter is a smart girl & you HAVE been doing a great job!
She knows you will be there for her no matter what…so many kids don’t have that.
It sets the foundation for her future…I wish I would have had that from my Mom.
OK – since I was such a party pooper earlier (didn’t mean to be really – I guess I was just feeling a little “blue”) hop on over to my blog – we’re having a little bit of fun over there and I y’all will enjoy it! It will only take a second!
See ya there!
Happy Friday -
I love this! I think some parents would be so quick to be like, “ugh, I don’t need help showing my child I love them!” but these ideas are just so cute and I doubt most Mom’s/Dad’s would think of them on their own. Love it! Thanks for sharing!
Candace-
Will you be my mommy? I love this list. Thank you so much for compiling it. There are so many things I would have never come up with on my own that will be so fun to do for/with them. Interestingly enough, a lot of these ideas are things that would also make a husband feel pretty loved.
Oh, I love this! I am bookmarking this page especially since we are snowed in in the DC area and looking for ways to entertain our kiddos!
love, love, love this list! thank you so much for sharing! as a homeschooling mama to four i spend all my time with the kids and this is a great reminder that sometimes i need to just do kid things with them. bookmarking this fab list and then tweeting it so other mamas can be inspired.
Love this! Thank you.
I love this list.
Thank you for the reminders!
I love to occasionally do something we call “King For A Day.” Of course, if you have little girls, Queen for a day is perfect too. I pull out the special plate and mug set, and the child who gets to eat off these at breakfast knows this day is all about him. He does not have to do his chores that day, as I do them for him. He gets to choose what I will make for dinner and dessert. He gets one day of being the boss of the remote (within reason of course) and we try to lavish compliments and praise to really make him feel special and loved. this is a lot of work for mom, so each kid is lucky if they get this once a year, but it sure makes each boy feel special.
Wow, what a great idea!
I should totally put this into practice with my son. I especially liked #10.
Thanks for sharing!
:)
I just wrote a piece about how to be an artist mother that has some similar topics — but in a bit more detail.
http://knitandpurlgrrl.blogs.com/five_things/2010/02/seth-godin-on-the-art-of-motherhood-five-ways-to-be-a-parenting-artist.html
The one thing I forgot — LISTEN! That is the number one, I think. Thanks for a thought-provoking post.
Thanks for the many wonderful ideas!
One thing I have done since my son was born is to travel by public transit whenever possible so that I can focus on him instead of on traffic.
What a great post. Lovely. Gives me great ideas.
Thanks so much!
One thing my daughter loves doing is coming to my work with me. I think a visit to mom’s work is great too.
Take care!
Jane
What an incredible list! I can’t wait to try some of these with my boys, especially now that summer vacation is almost here. Thanks for offering such fun, special, memory-creating ideas!
This is fantastic post! Very creative. My children are 5 & 8 and one of our favorite things to do is to build “forts” out of old sheets and pillows. We climb inside and tell “scary” stories, which are never really scary and always end up making us laugh until our sides hurt. I’m anxious to try the balloon idea! That one will surely make for a great time! Thanks for all the wonderful ideas!
i read an awesome article in a parenting magazine a couple of years ago. the author decided to spend a day doing everything her three year old daughter wanted to do. we spend so much time saying NO! to our children her thought was wonderful to me. i haven’t managed an entire day, but because of that article i frequently take a deep breath when my kids ask to do something or for something. do i want to go for a walk? no, but they do, and would it really hurt me? no, so i say YES! with enthusiasm and excitement. most recently my five year old has wanted to do the dishes. will it make a mess? yes, but she really, really wants to help, so i get the sharp/breakables out and prewash whats left and let her at it. she’s so proud and when she’s done we cuddle on the couch.
I read that same article! I was pregnant with my first and remember thinking how hard is it to say yes? Now I know. Great reminder Melissa, thank you.
I love this! I’m adding it to my New Years Resolutions!
I am a great grand-mother. I wish I had these comments when my childern were small. It would have helpped me.
Oh see Doris, just hearing you say that makes me want to read it again, it’s so easy to forget :)
Thanks for this list…I actually do most of them already, and that made me feel like the best mom in the world…my kids MUST know that I love them :) I’d like to add a few ideas…
- order pizza just because they ask (I did that last night)
- give them a box of craft supplies that they can use whenever and however they like without supervision
- give THEM breakfast in bed
- let your daughter wear a mish-mash of rainbow colored clothes to school just because she picked them all out herself and she likes to be “rainbow girl” :)
Oh my heart. This brought tears to my eyes. We are going through a challenging time with my 3YO and it’s so hard to feel like you’re constantly in discipline mode. I’m printing this out so I can be intentional about giving my undivided attention to my kids. That is, after all, why I’m a SAHM, right? So I can be the one to teach them. Duh. Thanks for the post. :)
Yes! i do agree that telling them how much you love your kids could boost their self esteem. The special treat once in awhile could help a lot for bonding time to your little love one.
I really love reading this article.
This is a fantastic list! I am going to print this out so that it can remind me of little ways I can show my kids how much I love them each day! Thanks
that you so much for the list…I’m in tears.
To think I’ve been so busy with work and come home tired and forget about my son. Who is so special to me.
That is so cool and unique – what a wonderful post. Often we forget that children have feelings and can do with our attention and love.
Nina
We saw this and loved it! As busy moms, we welcome the reminder to slow down and savor life with our little ones. Really, what’s more important? Thanks for a great post.
loved this post! saw it on Stumble ;.)
Fantastic list… sometimes daily life makes us forget these little things!
Ahhh! I love this! #10 involving the hand-made card is priceless. I’d be inclined to take the card back after they’ve read it and put it somewhere for safe keeping to show them when they get older. lol. (I’m sentimental like that.) I may re-post this on my own site for even more Moms to see :)
LOVE THIS .. just “stumbled” onto it! Even though I don’t have kids yet (just got married!) .. I will be sharing this with moms I know. Thank you!
Thank you!
Very sweet – it’s a lovely idea to collect these into a list :-)
What a great list! I will be printing this out too & changing ‘your child’ to Little M, my 2 year old son. I am a SAHM mom too & thankfully have tonnes of time to do all these lovely activities : )
I “kidnapped” my daughter from school last year on her birthday and realized how ridiculous it is that I have to ask permission to see my child on her birthday. I decided that day we would homeschool the next school year, and we did! I am so fortunate to be at home with my children. It has been an eye opening experience and I love it.
Beautiful post idea. I just tweeted … Hugs & Blessings!
As a homeschooling mom of 3 boys I am so grateful that I can have so much time to show my love.
Some days my impatience may not show it…but then there is always a chance for another hug=)
Great Post!
I love this. I fully intend to use these ideas.
Due to ridiculous immigration rules, I’ve not seen my kids (6 & 7) for over 5mths, and it’s killing me. We talk on skype everyday, and I send them postcards, and other cards frequently, and i email jokes ot my husband, for him to share with them, but it’s so hard being away from them. We’re getting some movement on the immgration, and think i’ll be back ‘home’ in the next month – I plan to use a bunch of these ideas frequently, to help my little ones know how pleased I will be to be back home with them.
Thanks so much for the ideas – and to the others who’ve posted comments with additional ideas – it’s great to hear of ways we can help our kids feel more loved and secure!
Oh Gemma, I can’t even imagine. I hope you get your babies in your arms soon!
A great list of ideas for spending time with the kiddos. Many parents are so busy “making a life” for their children that they don’t really have a life with their children.
Thanks for reminding small small things. I know, I do and most of those listed here, a collection of these activities is definitely going to help me. My both the kids are waiting for fun to be started this summer and I am going to help them to find their passion.
What a wonderful post. Those are great ideas. Thank you for sharing them.
: 0 ) Theresa
I enjoyed your article! I love some of your ideas and my child did too: ) thanks
I totally agree with your post here…time is what children need the most and what we tend to give the least. You’ve given some great ideas here and we all need to be reminded about this extremely important thing every month or so. I wrote a blog post for Valentine’s Day reminding people of this…but I didn’t give the suggestions you did. If you’d like to visit it’s at http://dr-rhia.squarespace.com/blog/2012/2/14/time.html
Thank you for this important reminder.
What a lovely list and sentiment. The little things are easy to do but also easy to forget to do them! Will definitely be doing these with my son, especially love ’32.Make home a fun place to be’ as I want my son to feel happy, safe and loved when he’s at home.
Spending time with kids has been priority ever since I became a mother. We live in times when there is a lot of pressure on parents to prove to the world that they are doing what “The best parents” should be doing. But we have kind of forgotten that our children need our attention, our time and affection more than anything else. Instead of showing off to people who may mean nothing to us, it’s better we prove to our little ones that we love them by bonding with them, playing games and reading bedtime stories, enjoying an ice-cream with them and becoming a kid ourselves when with them.
This is a great website! I am 12, and I wrote a few ideas from this website on a piece of paper, and i`m gonna put it on her bed. My mom ALWAYS says, Listen, your sister never gets out and its time to think of her, But i`m feeling very lonely and depressed. I don`t even think she loves me anymore. I miss spending time with my mom. I “was“ the youngest in my house, until my sister had a baby :( now i feel awful because when i was youngest…she took me places and payed attention to me then. now that my `nephew` is born she always takes him places. Maybe i need a new family with NO other kids. Then i`ll be payed attention to, and loved ♥
I’m 13 and I think you should verbalise the suggestions and not write them and express how you feel about the situation because no one deserves to feel that way and hopefully your mom might understand . Hope this helps ❤
P.S I’m sure your family loves you
Thanks so much for this. I am going to start by writing a letter to my daughter and putting it under her pillow, then I will stick a note saying I love you in her pocket. I also like the take your child out for lunch from school as a surprise. I have to do this one, it’s a great idea and there is a KFC across the road from my daughter’s school. Thanks for sharing this.
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