Cooking Up Memories

by candace on November 20, 2009

mother huddle-baking

Growing up in a large family was joyful chaos. Though our home life was a far cry from the mannerly fashion of the Cleaver residence from the classic T.V. series Leave It to Beaver, my mother was the embodiment of June Cleaver.  Each day when I would come home from school she would be standing at the countertop kneading dough for the fresh, hot bread that would accompany a home cooked supper—which was always made from the finest ingredients and prepared from scratch with plenty of love.

I was always eager to join in the process of cooking, and I will be forever grateful to my dear mother who always allowed me (after a thorough scrubbing of my grubby paws had taken place) to do just that.  Though it was not the birth of my passion for cooking, it was certainly then that she began to lay the foundation for teaching me how to cook—a skill that has proven to be invaluable.  But even more important than learning to master the perfect béchamel, or knowing just how long the rice ought to simmer before the lid should be lifted, were the fostering of affectionate moments and cherished memories I have come to treasure.

As a young child it was the self-satisfaction I gained as I was able to crack an egg into the bowl without the slightest shard of shell, or the pleasure I discovered in sampling the finished product, and especially in the overwhelming feelings of gratification and victory I gleaned as I watched loved ones enjoy my chef d’oeuvre.  As I became older, it became more about the experience of sharing in intimate and exclusive conversations with my mother while we carefully and lovingly produced our culinary creations together.  I would confide in her, and she would share with me her wisdom—about life, relationships and cooking; things which will remain infinitely intertwined for me.

Now as an adult with young children of my own, I allow them every opportunity to cook alongside me whenever they have the desire.  There are times when they all want to have their hands in on the action (whew!) and times when only one or two of my children gravitate to the kitchen to participate.  With each completed dish comes a memory forever attached— those precious giggles when the cake batter goes flying from the thrashing beaters, the widening of eyes as the bread rises in the oven, the confidence they display when trusted to handle a “very important duty”, the smiles as they partake of their tasty concoctions.  I love to be present while they cook up those same memories I did as a child, as all their senses are tickled with the delights of taking part in the sweet experience of “cookin’ with mama.”  The messes are only temporary, but those tender impressions are for keeps.

This post was shared on Chatting at the sky and Good True and Beautiful.  Be sure to go see all ways people are living in the moment and finding joy.

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{ 7 comments… read them below or add one }

Maria November 20, 2009 at 6:30 am

Are we related? I remember my mom letting me help cook too. I loved it and it made me feel totally special. My oldest son has been at my side in the kitchen since he was 9 months old. He would cry and cry until I held him and let him watch and see everything I was doing. I finally figured out I could stand him on a chair next to me. (even though he was only 9 months old he could stir a bowl of water in the sink while I stirred whatever was cooking on the stove.) I love those memories. I have to say, cooking is one of my favorite things to do with my kids. Last night we made sugar cookies. They don’t look exactly how I had pictured when I made the suggestion, but pink frosted four leaf clovers with halloween sprinkles sure taste good, and he was sure proud of the results.

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Destri November 20, 2009 at 12:46 pm

My mom was only able to stay home with us until I was 4 years old, and then my step dad died and left her with having to work three jobs, so I don’t remember how my mom used to cook for us. But my sister fondly remembers my mom making homeade pasta and draping it over the barstools in the kitchen to dry. I remember how she would call me from work when I got home from school giving me detailed instructions on how to put brown the pot roast, put it in the oven with just the right amount of water, garlic, onion and salt and pepper; every time I make pot roast I hear her instructions in my head and it is a great little memory. It is funny the things we cling to.
Now I know what a great cook my mother is and enjoy sharing the kitchen with her as she teaches me her little secrets, that will definetly be passed on to my little ones.

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Suzanne November 20, 2009 at 4:13 pm

I can share my love of cooking from the opposite stand point. My mom was not a cooking person and I wanted the June Cleaver type but you get what you get. But I realize if she did cook I may not have learned like I did. Mom let me do anything in the kitchen from the time I was 7 years old and up. The one rule was I had to clean it up. (which of course she did many times for me) My attention span was small so I remember taking hours in the kitchen to make cookies. My best little girlfriends mom named “June” appropriately taught me to love baking and I still do. She was great, she let us girls run her Kitchen Aid daily. Thanks for the post, it’ s a great reminder.

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Sharon January 7, 2010 at 11:30 am

What a beautiful and rich post so full of memories! And what a lovely tribute to your mom…

I too was gifted with a mom who taught me how to cook… I’m one of three daughters but for some reason, I don’t remember my sisters in the kitchen with Mom and Me… perhaps they were there, but I only remember the wonderful conversations and lessons she taught me.

Of course, SHE remembers the time I had to vacuum out the oven after baking a cake. But that’s a post for another day!

Great site here ladies — I’m glad I “found” you!

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Kim January 7, 2010 at 12:38 pm

That is a great post. I missed it the first time around. Glad I caught it this time. :-)

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Jamie January 7, 2010 at 10:49 pm

What wonderful memories you have and you’re making! I hope I’m doing the same with my kids. Somehow it seems easier to talk about life lessons over cake batter or cookie dough. Funny how that happens!

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Melissa Multitasking Mama January 26, 2010 at 12:38 pm

My youngest (now 12) has enjoyed cooking with me since he was very small (the other boys kind of grew out of it). He makes us omelettes and other things and is always proud of his accomplishments in the kitchen. Sweet memories and he’ll make someone a great husband some day ;)

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