How I Found That Work-Mom Balance and Introducing Davina Fear

by Destri on December 10, 2012

A little over 4 years ago I came up with this idea to start a blog that would be a place I could share with friends.  A place we could share our ideas, talents, advice, and just stay connected – a “huddle” of sorts.  I’ll never forget when I came up with the name The Mother Huddle.  I remember being so excited, calling all the girls saying “isn’t it perfect?!”.

I thought the whole idea was inspired by my need to stay connected to them (we had all just moved apart after a couple great years raising our new babes together) and my desire to work from home.  Looking back now I realize it had a lot more to do with me finding something I was passionate about.

As a new mom, I had lost that spark I once had.  I was floundering a bit, just making it through the day one dirty diaper and dirty load of laundry at a time.  Working on TMH I quickly found the energy one has when they find a passion.  I woke up excited just to think about and plan for it, and would stay up into the wee hours of the night trying to pull it all together.

After about six months, I quickly became the mother that finds herself struggling to balance that new passion while raising two babies.  Not only did TMH consume most of my physical time, but it was always on my mind.  I couldn’t shut it off and be present in the life going on around me.

I felt like I was giving up one passion for another – being a wife and mom.  Then I happened upon this post “Make Time” from Davina.  Here’s an excerpt:

As most of you know I’ve been on a kind of crusade of sorts to get my life back after becoming overwhelmed and overworked as I tried to get a business going…then get it to grow up.

In the meantime it seemed like I’d missed my kids growing up.  They’re not that old but missing just a little bit ends up feeling like I’ve missed a lifetime.  In truth, to get a business started and then growing there are certain things you have to give up.  Opportunity costs.  Whether you do it knowingly or not it still happens.  You give something up when you decide to pursue something else.

When you finally realize that there were opportunity costs that you didn’t count on…there are regrets.  Some of them small.  Some of them big.  Even though you’ve loved what you’ve been doing you realize you’ve missed some things.

It was like she took the words right out of my mouth.

I hung on every word and went back to read it several times.  I found my answer in the words that followed the above excerpt in that post.  I put The Mother Huddle aside for three months.  I worked on being more intentional in my days, in my mothering, and my life in general.  Eventually I came to realize that I needed that little something of my own, the thing that helps me grow, to really strike a cord of balance.

So I continued on with the planning of TMH, but this time I was prepared – I knew when to pull myself back a bit, when to allow myself the late nights, and when to just walk away for a few days.  Three months later The Mother Huddle launched.

After more than three years, it feels great to know that I was able to keep that balance.  I’ve learned to be respectful of the season’s of my life and let TMH grow at a speed that will allow for that.  Some days I am better at it than others, but I can look back over the last three years with no regrets. I can say with all honesty Davina was a large part of that.

She inspired me to live my life on purpose.

So it is with GREAT enthusiasm that I introduce Davina as the new editor of the “A Simply~Charmed Life” segment.  Ladies, she’s going to knock your socks off!  She has this contagious love of life that will put a breath of fresh air into your day.  She’ll inspire you to take action in your life, teach you that it’s the little things that matter and they’ll remember, that 15 minutes with your hubby can change your marriage, and maybe most importantly that balance can be found in not folding your laundry.

It couldn’t have come at a better time, as I have felt this calling for TMH – that it was meant for more. More specifically that we are meant for more. We will be introducing a new challenge in the new year and I think Davina will be a great advocate for our success.  More to come on that!

Oh and the added bonus?  She just happens to be an amazing photographer, and word has it she has a little bit to share on the matter as well – I’ll keep you posted :)

For now, I’ll leave you with a little bit more about Davina:

Davina Fear is a Familyness Adventurer.  A professional wedding and portrait photographer for over 10 years, she pioneered the Get to Know You shoot with her famous questionnaire.

Now she puts her family science degree to good use and helps families discover greater happiness together, joy in connecting, and fun in the little things.

By day Davina writes for families around the world on her blog at davinafear.com. By night she makes elephant sized forts for familyness adventures in her living room.


After having a knock down, drag out fight trying to grow grass in her backyard, for 4 years, she realized it could be a fantasy land. Now it’s filled with white curtains and 1000s of twinkle lights where she likes to eat dinner with the 5 best people in the world, make s’mores, and sit by the fire listening to stories and laughing.


Davina loves to go on dates with her husband especially when they include whoopee cushions, photo booths, and invisible ink.

When she grows up…oh wait! that’s not going to happen.

She wishes she had a green thumb.

Her superpower: Her laugh makes other people laugh uncontrollably (she’s not sure if that at her or with her…but it doesn’t really matter)

Davina wants to know:  What’s your superpower?

Welcome welcome Davina!

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{ 6 comments… read them below or add one }

aubrey December 10, 2012 at 3:37 pm

Love this post about TMH Destri! You are an inspirations and I’m so grateful you started TMH. I’m so excited to get to you know Davina! Welcome to TMH Davina!! My superpower….hmmmm…I don’t know if I’ve ever thought about it…time to figure that out…

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Davina December 10, 2012 at 7:00 pm

Thank you, Aubrey! I’m so looking forward to getting to know everyone here and the exciting changes ahead for TMH! WooHoo!

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Davina December 10, 2012 at 7:05 pm

Destri, you HAVE made me blush! I’m so thrilled to get to work with you and be part of TMH. I had no idea that I’d get to be so much apart of this all of those years ago when you emailed me. You are amazing! <3

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Maria December 10, 2012 at 10:04 pm

I still remember when you told me your idea to call the blog “The Mother Huddle.”
I thought it was absolutely perfect. I love being apart of TMH and it makes me happy to know that we are hopefully helping other mama’s with fun ideas, recipes and projects they can feel passionate about.

Davina, You are awesome. I can’t wait to get to know you better and learn how to be a familyness adventurer like you. I think my super power is my ability to taste food and pick out what ingredients are in it. :)

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Davina December 11, 2012 at 11:03 am

Thank you, Andrea! And that’s an awesome super power! That means you can make anything you love to eat at a restaurant. I would love that super power!

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Marlene December 12, 2012 at 3:05 pm

Hello ladies :) What a lovely post! I’m curious about that 15 minutes with your husband thing! LOL

I don’t think I have a super power .. hmm…

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