We haven’t had one of these posts in awhile, and as readers it seems you either love ‘em or hate ‘em. So for those of you that enjoy a little editorial, this ones for you. Especially if you have a high energy kid. For those of you that like the projects, I have one coming up. Also we will be announcing the winner to the rock the flop event shortly! Now onto my ramblings.
Hello, my name is Destri and I have a “high energy child”. I start out this way because sometimes I feel like I need a support group just to raise him. Wanna join? You know who you are, no riding on the fence here! At a play date you have no doubt heard “Wow, I bet he sleeps good at night” or “Oh my goodness! She sure has a lot of energy!”. Yes, you know who you are. You are raising a child that can run circles around you and take your heart with him.
I have always worried about my little guy. Worried that maybe he has early signs of ADHD, or that maybe I let him watch TV to young. Or maybe allowing myself that one cup of coffee each day while pregnant had a lasting effect on him. It’s hard not to when you are out with friends and their kids, and your child is literally the tornado ripping through the bunch. You start to question your parenting, and your ability to raise this child to adulthood while keeping your sanity. At least I do. I did have a turning point though – a moment I learned to embrace this energy of his and try to work with it rather than fight it. It was last year at the zoo with friends that I learned to let Hank, be Hank.
As I did in most situations like this, I had my two and half year old and my eleven month old securely strapped into the double stroller. As we walked I remember watching both of their little boys (about the same age), how they walked beside them only venturing a safe distance before coming back to mom, and being envious. Finally at some point I reluctantly let Hank out. We were in the reptile building and it seemed like a place I could contain him. He scurried off excited to be free, I scrambled behind him telling him “quiet Hank” “stop running Hank”, “wait for me Hank”. All the while I have an eleven month old on my hip. I am sure I looked like a nervous nelly that just needed to relax. I can’t say that has really changed.
We head outside and of course he immediately takes off, despite the fact I had just told him to stay by my side. Embarrassed, I ask my friend to take my baby in the stroller so I can chase after him. I found him at the monkey cage around the corner.
“Mom, look! Monkeys!” He says with more excitement then some display having just won the lottery.
“Hank, I thought I told you to stay by me” I say with the sternest voice I could muster. “Why did you run off?”
To which he simply replies “You were going too slow!”
It was in that moment I realized, he is not a bad kid, he is just an energetic one. His curiosity and sense of adventure simply are not content to walk calmly beside me while there was so much to see. He was not blatantly trying to disobey, his mind works too fast in such an environment to think of ways to be naughty. It was just honest, genuine excitement, and the harder I fought to contain that, the harder he fought to maintain it. And why shouldn’t he? We were at the zoo after all.
We had the “You need to wait for mom so you don’t get lost” talk and then I sat with him and engaged in his excitement over the monkeys. My friends show up, with their boys by their side, and we head off to the next exhibit. Off runs Hank down the hill. Instead of running after him with threats of sitting in the car I make sure he stays within eye shot. Part of me felt like I was giving into him but my better instincts told me to let him go. He ran to the elephants, looked back at me with sheer excitement and wonder in his eyes. Those were elephants in front of him, and boy were they big, and he had no problem showing his enthusiasm for it. I had no choice but to admire him. The rest of the day went a lot like that. Hank running off and me fighting the urge to contain him. I had to learn to let him go a little, or I was just going to chase him off.
That night I went home and wrote in my journal. I wrote how I needed to find a way to embrace these qualities of his – that is what they are after all – not some disorder or result of my coffee habit. To not fight them, or try to change him. I had to remember to not strip him of this natural love of life he had. I wrote how I needed to learn how to point all that energy in the right direction, because one day it would accomplish great things if given a chance. I even wrote that he would probably be the one to teach me how to do that.
So instead of having just a hyper child, I like to think I have a passionate, persistent, energetic child who will live every day of his life. And underneath all of that you have a little person that wears his heart on his sleeve – he has no time for pretense – an ever willing cuddler, who has yet to meet an enemy.
Last time I went to the park there was an elderly man watching his grandchildren sitting with me. He was watching our kids play and mentioned “boy I bet he keeps you busy”. To which I replied “yep, isn’t it great?” He said “It sure is.”
There are still many days I forget all of this and we have our battles. It will be nice to have this written here for those days I need reminding. Yet I have managed to find a way to work with him most of time. Little tactics and techniques that speak to him in a way that yelling at him never will. Watching my sister, mom and friends with him has been great. People sometimes deal with your kids better don’t you think? Much to be learned from that. If you’re interested I could share, and you could share yours. This is a support group after all.
And for those of you with the calm, “stay by moms side” kind of child, please do not think I am discounting them and their qualities. I have one of those too, thank goodness. But that is an entirely different post.
So tell me, do you have a high energy child?
**Thanks for all your emails and the heads up on the 404! I fixed it, so now you can leave a comment!
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Wow, am i ever glad i found this blog. i have a two year old boy, who has been nonstop since he was born. fully of energy…turning over at 2months, crawling and standing up at 6 months, walking at 8 months and running by 10 months. my heart jumps if i look away for a second. he’s always on the go and running…like he’s escaping. he will never walk by my side…i hate going anywhere….malls, friends and families homes. he touches everything and will not sit still for a minute. i fear he has adhd as well but time will tell. i also get the comments daily whereever we are…o you have ur hands full…o wow i bet he sleeps well…i tried to put him in a preschool class where the parents remain and i got comments that he is so bad…he is not bad in my opinion but because he’s so hyper he will get blamed and dirty looks for everything. o my head. no one seems to understand except all you brilliant women that have posted here. his father and i have separated and he sees him a few hours a week now and not even he gets what i go through daily. im so exhauted going nonstop to keep up with him. i often cry and am so worried thinking about his future. will he be able to stay in school…i have no clue. i tried putting him in a daycare for half days and it was a disaster so i had to pull him out. he likes to run around and play all day and there he could not…they let him scream all day in a corner. my heart broke to see this. i am at home now with him because i dont know what else to do. do we just wait it out til they diagnose him…i dont know. i feel like giving up at times. i absolutely hate playdates and going anywhere. he’s such a lovable boy but will not be given that chance because he’s so hyper…i get looks and comments way to often. he is also a later talker which makes me even more nervous because i have others yell at him and i feel sorry because he cant communicate yet. you are so right. nobody knows what we are going through unless you have a high energy child. everyone around me that have had calm children think i’m a nervous crazy person…always yelling and running after him because he’s so dangerous…well what do i do, just let him run on to the street? do i let him jump off tables and couches…i don’t. o boy just typing this up and rethinking of stuff i went through is exhausting. thank you ladies for sharing your stories. please somebody tell me it does get better. i dont believe anyone else who says this to me as so far it is getting worse. :(
Melissa
Your child may have autism. I have a younger brother who was exactly like that. His physical development was extraordinary, but his speech skills were delayed. He skipped the crawling stage and was also running by 10 months. My mother got a diagnosis when he was a little older. He was removed from his elementary school because he was unwilling to work and they could not “handle him.” He just turned 15 and is in 8th grade. He is one grade behind and has one “special” class that he receives homework help with.He turned out just fine and is the sweetest person I’ve ever met. He surprises me all of the time with the things he knows and the jokes he tells me.
Your son will be just fine as long as you continue to be patient and loving
But don’t let him walk all over you
I promise it will get better
Hi Melissa,
Have you tried Montessori nurseries or Steiner education?
http://www.montessori.org.uk/
http://www.steinerwaldorf.org/whatissteinereducation.html
They respect every child’s development, no competition and healthy education.
I am a Psychologist, Specialist in Education, Life Coach and Trainer in Resonanz method and I think that you can find a person to work with him to build some roots and offer him support, to understand him before labeling him. For any other information please contact me. I will be happy to help you, if I can.
I also have a high energy 2 and half daughter….with all my training I still find it difficult to deal with my limits and her speed..and it’s more difficult to be the mum than to be the Coach :))
I think our children are the best Trainers and Therapists! I am happy to read your stories…it is really like a support group. It’s difficult when your child is the only one in the group being like this..and every mum laughing of her running and enthusiasm to see and feel everything. We gave up going to groups because I was just running after her and being embarrassed…and now I am trying to apply for a place in Montessori preschool. I know their method and I hope it will be ok for her.
Important for me is understand her and find the best approach for her. I am observing her a lot and I try to see and feel the things through her eyes. But still is a big challenge and I try to remember every day that she has a gift and it’s just my problem because of my limits.
Have you heard of “The Child Whisperer” by Carol Tuttle? Her approach to children (especially high energy children…actually… ALL children) is absolutely ground breaking!!
I love my high energy son. Let’s all get fit alongside them and enjoy their passionate and commendable energy and love of life! Remember to look after yourselves and be grateful for every day together. One day that energetic child will be looking after you!
Thank you so much for this post and for all the replies. I’ve found them so helpful knowing that other mother’s are experiencing the same. I often feel that I have no ‘control’ over my children (in particular my daughter who is the over active one), I avoid doing thing, give up on other things and generally go round in circles trying to manage the tasmanian devil that whirls through our home. I’m just realising that she has been like this from birth and since starting school earlier this year I wasn’t sure if it was just bad behaviour, ADHD or something else. She never settled as a baby, can not concentrate on anything for long, gets frustrated easily and has so much energy that no one knows how to channel it. And….lots of stuff that’s already been mentioned. I’m now able to think forwards, think how to ‘manage’ rather than ‘change’, with prayer and support from blogs like this we can embrace our little bundles of energy.
Count me in as another follower! This sounds exactly like our two year old. I am astounded by his energy some days, as well as his constant urge to throw things everywhere and run everywhere. Walk is hardly in his vocabulary. It can be overwhelming at times. Nice to know he is not alone!
Hi! Thanks for writing this post, Destri! Thanks to everyone who left a comment as well. I suddenly found people who can understand my challenges and joys because they are in the same boat. I have a high energy 4 year old boy who was assessed twice last year to be potentially-gifted. I also have a 13 month old baby who is more and more showing signs that he is a high energy child like his older brother. We have yet to find out if he is also potentially gifted like my eldest child.
My boys’ motor skills developed quite early than expected and they learned to crawl, walk and run early. There are many days when I feel exhausted chasing after them, watching over them and trying my best to keep them safe. My boys are also strong-willed and independent. They are not like most kids who walk close to you, holding your hand as instructed. They love to run and inspect things around them. They are so curious and so full of energy most of the time.
This post reminded me to again take time to pause and appreciate what my boys are doing right or doing well instead of what they are not doing or are challenged to do. My hands are definitely full almost all the time because of my kids but I still love them and thank the Lord for them. I’d rather have a busy and messy house because of high energy kids than an orderly home without the sound of their voices or laughter.
Thanks again everyone for sharing your joys and challenges. God bless us all with the grace to cope and triumph!
Just spent the last few hours desperately trying to get my two and a half year old off for his sleep. This is on a daily basis, since he was one. When he gets tired he seems to get this tremendous surge of energy. For the last few months the only way I have found he will eventually go to sleep is by putting him in his pushchair. However, if he is not ready for it he will climb out and get incredibly naughty, running around all over the place like a loon and his behaviour begins to get aggressive. In the last week he has started biting and also hitting me for no apparent reason. When he does sleep he sleeps well and has mostly always slept through the night. I have always co-slept with him but the father does not share the bed with us, by mutual agreement!
He has a brother of 13 who really is at an age where he doesn’t want to spend time with Jacob and would rather sit on the Xbox in his room.
Jacob doesn’t spend much time with his father, never really has. It’s very difficult with him working till late at night.
I tried him at a playgroup a couple of times six months ago and found I was just constantly running around after him, he was moving chairs to climb on and snatching toys from other kids etc. If anything, having exertion only seems to give him more energy.
We do have some friends who have kids a similar age and a bit older but Jake has never really shown any interest in playing/interacting with other children, he prefers to run around.
Only a couple of weeks ago we were at my sisters house. She has a daughter 6 months younger than Jacob but rather than play with her he flooded my sisters bathroom instead! Oh the joy!
He is able to climb out of his pushchair which can be awkward when we are out, especially if we are in a supermarket or near a busy road. (I don’t have a car and have to do all the food shopping on foot.)
I am concerned that Jacob is somewhat cut off from the world. I take him out each day in his pushchair for fresh air and a different environment. But it is simply too difficult to take him out of his pushchair very often and I feel very bad about this. He doesn’t have any friends really of his own age. He has lots of lots of lovely toys and things to do in the house. However, I get the feeling he gets bored of it all and wants to go off running. I have to bolt our side gate and the back gate. His older brother left the back gate open once and he was straight out there running to god-knows where. He’s too young to understand what danger is and I also worry about this.
In the last six months Jacob starting exhibiting extreme distress whenever people come and go to our house. He hates doors being closed unless he is closing them himself. Coming in through the front gate is a nightmare, especially when laden with shopping on the pushchair. He will scream and scream to be let out and I have to very quickly get him in through the side door (the safety gate means that we can’t go through the front one, however, I am thinking of taking this out for easier access.) In the meantime the neighbours must think we are nuts or something because this happens almost every day. He almost always screams when coming through the door. It appears to be a huge problem for him and I cannot work out what the problem could be. Whenever someone leaves the house they have to go quickly otherwise he will try and get out with them and have a screaming fit. I have tried shutting the front gate properly and letting him run around and open and close the side gate but it always ends up in tears and screaming when he has to come inside. It doesn’t help that we live on a busy junction so it really is a genuine worry, especially when the side gate isn’t locked and someone carelessly leaves the side gate open. He just hates saying goodbye to people. I am getting so tired of this, truly. And it can feel embarrassing because sometimes when I know someone is coming over for my partner or older son, I might take Jacob upstairs to play just to distract him so that he doesn’t kick off. His behaviour seems to get worse and I am at my wits end.
Jacob is clearly an emotional boy and I wonder whether the fact that he is a late talker could be anything to do with this? He can do the alphabet and he can count to ten and say ‘no’ but he seems to lack basic social vocabulary. Maybe this is because it’s just been me and him so far really and he hasn’t really needed to speak as I do everything for him?
Both his grandmothers are frankly odd at the best of times so I haven’t wanted them babysitting him at all. My partners mother in particular has always been trying to tell me how to raise Jacob from the outset and is condescending beyond belief. She will come over and make ‘demands’ such as she thinks she has the right to take him off for a week and get him into a ‘routine’ etc. I won’t let her. Jacob DOES have a routine, it’s just a really exhausting one. She makes me feel like I’m doing a really crap job and that I haven’t the first clue about my child. Her idea of good parenting is to feed the kids sugar sandwiches (yes, really, my partner informed me of how she was when they were kids), lock them in their bedroom to cry or leaving them outside in their pushchair to scream. Not good. She is so rude to me but then I suppose she feels slightly resentful of the fact that I won’t let her take him. And I am so damn polite about this! The simple fact is, Jacob is so spirited that she, as a 65 year old with numerous health problems, wouldn’t physically be able to handle him as he is so spirited.
I realised this wasn’t going to be an easy job but boy is it exhausting!
It is really interesting to read about high energy children. Jacob is the most loving, intelligent, thoughtful and inquisitive child and I wouldn’t swap him for the world! You sometimes wonder how you cope with it all, but you do and it makes you stronger and smarter.
Any advice would be amazing. Maybe I am doing it all wrong, I don’t know. But I take one day at a time right now.
My son is nearly 18 months old. He has never slept properly since he was born, he maybe sleeps well one night every few months. I have two older children who are 9 and 4 and I work part-time. I am exhausted. My son is also showing signs that he has lots of energy, wish I knew how to make things easier for everyone, I don’t know how to keep going. Tired mummy. :0( xx
Omg, i cried when i read this. I tell my son to be himself, but the whole time i have tried to change him. Shame on me. He’s just an active child and has a wonderful zest for life. He gives a 110% on everything. I need to step back and look at what i can learn from him. Thank you for writing honestly and making me see how wonderful he is even if he can be exhausting. A real eye opener!
This post resonates so much with me, my little girl is 19 months old and a bundle of energy and enthusiasm. I too have had days where I have thought ‘what am I doing wrong?’ or ‘what is wrong with my child?’. The woman who teaches the playgroup session that we attend weekly gave me some of the best advice I have heard for ‘spirited children’ as she calls them. She explained to me that these children often possess the characteristics that are most desirable in adults, characteristics that often result in resilient, creative, and charismatic people. She also explained that these characteristics in children, however, are often viewed as difficult, ‘naughty’ or just plain hard work. Her advice to me was to try as hard as I could to nurture these characteristics in my child as she grows, rather than try to eliminate or control them. This makes it much easier for me to be patient on days when I am exhausted, and often allows me to find a way through the times when I feel overwhelmed by her energy. I just can’t wait to see her grow and develop and I am so excited to meet the adult she becomes one day.
Thank you so much for all of this.
I (like so many others who have commented here probably) felt that the best way to spend this evening was to google something along the lines of “how could I POSSIBLY have such a naughty little boy?…”
Well now I know. And tomorrow is another day and I will enjoy it all the more having read this and can’t wait to see his little face.
So thanks again.
But not so much thanks for my very red and and very puffy face from all the crying! Cathartic.
I have a very energetic kid as well. He is 8 this year and he is a very smart and intelligent kid. He just cannot sits still and full of energy. Sometimes, I also wonder if he is having ADD but he is not having learning difficulties. In fact, he is very good in his learning and is a fast learner except he moves and talks a lot. His learning ability is confirmed by other teachers whom has also taught him.
Truely, I felt he is just full of energy and only need to learn to channel his energy in other ways to help him stay “quiet and a goodie boy (absolutely no talking)” during the 2-3 hours of lesson in class. Most of his class are delivered without much group discussions or activities. I think this is also a problem contributing to boredom.
Some teachers who dislike his talkative nature began to label him as BAD BOY in front of all his friends, which, I find is unnecessarily. I have to assure my son that he is not naughty only a little too talkative. That is only the things that he needs improvements. I do not want his teacher’s words to undermine his ability. I want to make known to him that we are all not perfect and he is not BAD BOY at all.
Hi! I have a high energy sweet little 4 1/2 year old boy. He runs all of the time and has to touch and explore everything with no concept of danger. He often gets angry because he is over stimulated by too much activity or tiredness. I have noticed he needs to eat a lot. Also, a high protein diet (eggs, fish and nuts) help him stay more balanced. I am very scared to send him to school. I am often criticized by relatives and my spouse for not discipling him. I don’t usually yell ect. I have an appointment to see a child psychologist this next week. I really am seeking ways to protect him from scrutiny and critism. I don’t want anyone to break his spirit.
Thank you so much for posting this. I have a very energetic 4 year old son. Im so worried that he might also have adhd. But the more I read your post the more my sons behavior matches everyones post. I thought I was losing my mind hes been deemed the bad boy in his daycare he will have a full week of being a good boy then the next week hes all bad. I think its out of pure boredom. Hes so full of energy we go to bed at 8:30pm he wakes up at 4:30am every morning wide awake jumping around so full of life. I just didnt get it now after reading these postings I understand better now. And will always encoursge him to show his passion for life and remind him hes not a bad boy when he shows a excitment for something. Im going to let him be him and try not to contain him but redirect his energy for life.
Hi Ash, We are in the same boat. Our 4 yr old is now the “naughty boy at preschool that no one wants to play with. He cant sit still wanders around the room during group time, he doesn’t sit and draw or paint or listen to a story as he simply cant sit still long enough. It has been heart wrenching as he is now becoming alienated from his peers. By the time he is at school he will be so behind we decided to take him to a specialist to help us. We were desperate. The specialist was gruff, off putting and we ended up tongue tyed from nerves. He gave us some medicine to help him sleep as he has always fought sleep, eventually passing out from sheer exhaustion. this at least has helped. we go back in 6 weeks…. Its really heart breaking when you are trying as hard as you can and nothing seems to change. we have tried the red krill oil, salicyate diet, gluten free diet, no preservatives, colouring etc. Nothing has worked. We are preparing ourselves for ADHD. We have read up and it describes him.. Hang in there too.
Can I join? My almost three-year-old is non-stop! And, I, like you, try to embrace it; but sometimes, it is challenging since I have a 12-week old. Any advice on indoor activities to help him release his energy for these cold, winter days when I don’t want to take the baby out?
Hi Crystal,
I let my kids get out that energy by letting them run around the basement, where we do laundry. They have a couple ride on toys down there, and they get to run, ride, be loud, etc because it’s a big open space. Not ideal, but they get some energy out. When I take them back upstairs, I always do a “quiet” activity with them (reading, paint, drawing, whatever) while they’re a bit worn out.
So how should a parent n teacher deal w this kind of kid???…..my 9 yr old is intelligent, done w cw n hw in a jiffy…..disrupts the class cuz he’s probably more bored than naughty..,,n I know he is naughty since birth…..but I really really need ideas on how to deal w him….. As well as wat he can do when he’s free in class….he luvs to read so I am planning on sending books w him….n also telling his teachers to give him wksheets when he is free……would greatly appreciate some more ideas !!!!!
Just two words (real fast because I have to run after mine)
THANK YOU!!!
I cried reading this post i too have a very high energy little boy and when you explain your experiences it just rings so many bells and i am too going to embrace his energy, he was non stop from he was in the womb and i loved it then, feeling him move, wiggle and jiggle inside me and i need to just enjoy him out here in this world which must seem so exciting for him, so thank you for the things you say and the way you put them you have opened my eyes and yes i will need to remind myself and have our battles but i will think differently now and when someone says something with that look of pity on their face im just gonna smile and say how lucky i am to have such a spirited little boy. Thank you.
Wow, I’m reading many of these post and it feels like I’m reading my own story! I have a very “spirited” 5 year old boy. He’s always the loudest, the most rambunctious, the most demanding, the most energetic child in a group. I get comments all the time about his energy or that he is bossy( he likes things his way) He is also very spontaneous. It seems his impulse control is very delayed. He still has that “if he wants it, it grabs it” mentality! He doesn’t share well either. He is getting a little better but, I just want to get some in site from other mothers of high energy children to see if this is common! I would appreciate any comments or suggestions
I found this website tonight because I just spent some time crying about my high energy child. He thinks people don’t like him because he talks to much….he has been diagnosed with adhd and anxiety :( he is only 8…I have spent years explaining him to people or defending him or taking a bunch of unwanted advise of what I should do with him. They dont even know what a wonderful person he is. If I had one wish in my whole life it would be to take all of his pain away. I love him exactly the way he is and I would not trade him for anything in this world!
Channon,
now you have me wiping tears. I am so sorry about the struggles your little guy is having, and so very sorry for your momma heart. It must be breaking for him. I really truly believe that it is these kiddos that will be the ones to have an amazing future set at their terms – they’ll be the entrepreneur’s, the risk takers, and the ones to question what is said to be possible. I thought of you and him all night last night, and just wrapped you in love. Keep loving him for who he is, find ways he shines and encourage those activities, and keep on being his advocate. I do have a video coming up for our little support group, I will let you know when it goes live.
Thank goodness it’s not just me!! My little boy is great just a little too energetic for most to handle. I have such high hopes for my son though as he is fantastically fearless and is waiting to represent his country in Kickboxing at only 5 yrs old (we are in Scotland where everyone is obsessed with ADHD and Autism) It has been a well needed read on this blog to see that there are others like me :-) xx
It is such a comfort for me to read all these stories. Yet, I am still at a loss. My son is 8 years old now and I noticed that his behavior has gotten a little worse. He is highly intelligent, high functioning, addicted to video games, very compassionate, wears his heart on his sleeve. I’m afraid of what the doctors will say if I take him to get evaluated. I don’t want him to take medicine. He gets into trouble at school almost everyday. He always tells me that he is very bored. His mind is constantly running, and he asks a million questions about complex things like World War II. He will get fixated on one subject and obsess over it for long periods of time. I love his curiosity for history and the world events. I would like any suggestions of activities for him because I won’t let him play video games for hours on end. He LOVES computers and technology.
Hi Amanda. My little boy is 5 and I am not sure where in the world you are but the only thing I can recommend is keeping an active noy active for as long as possible. my little one goes kickboxing twice a week straight after school followed by swimming for an hour then home. shower, supper, story bed. on other nights he comes in from school, does his homework then goes out to play for 2 hours. Comes in for tea, out for another half hour before shower, supper, story bed. have to say that I am lucky living in a community in the middle of nowhere my boy can just go out and use up all his energy. but I would certainly suggest things like boys brigade or scouts to you. He will be able to do activities and make lots of friends then. Loads of hugs to you and good luckxxx
Hi to all of you. I come to you from a slightly different angle. My son Chester was one of your Highly Active types and now he is 20. Chester is most definely ADD. When he was young I could barely stand to talk to him because while I was trying to make a point he would go off on some completely different tangent. It drove me crazy. Then one day my husband was having a talk with him and he asked, “Chester how many different things do you think about at once?” My son replied “two”. My husband said “Oh come on. I’ll bet it’s more than that.” and Chester said “No Dad, just two”
When you come to know a thing or two about ADD people you realize that they are using both sides of their brain at the same time. There is a logical thought and an artistic thought occuring at the same time. The problem is the rest of us don’t see it the way they do. You really have to give it time to understand HOW they are seeing it.
For those of you in the throws of this frustration right now this may not help alot. However I can tell you it gets better. Not only does it get better but there may come a time when you actually will learn to embrace their strange quirky view of the world.
Chester is now in college and is a Creative Writing major. He is a musician, and artist, and a self taught videographer. He is a second degree Black Belt, and the most wonderful person I know. All of this because God gave me the patience to get through his “Energizer Bunny” stage. Hang in there sisters… the best is yet to come. With love, Marcie
Hello, My name is Jackie and I have a 20 month old boy, beautiful curls, and lovely dimples.
I’m soo glad that I found, this website, I do worry a lot about my son, because he is extremely active, theres times during the day when I cannot control him, and I end up crying, helpless. But I’m learning ways to keep him ocupied, because at the end that’s all he wants, he loves music, at his little age , I noticed that he is a fast learner, it only takes me once to teach him a new word and he is already repeating it, his learning skills are fast, love the outdoors, he really knows how to let me know when he wants something, he is a screamer, to the top of his lungs. has that screachy high pitch voice, that sometimes I feel that he doesn’t hear himself. I honestly feel, that if I can learn new techniques on how to keep him ocupied, and how to utilize that energy , I can learned a lot , and help him built a positive personality, because I see that most of the time he gets frustrated and anxious, when he can’t do something. please help
Hello. I understand the biggest picture…love your child no matter what and be patient with him/her because this is the way that they are..because. Well my daughter is almost three and the hardest part for me are all of the accidents. She literally runs “blind” and I believe that she believe’s that objects should move for her, they don’t. At one she broke her wrist jumping from a headboard, not a day later with hot pink cast and all she was back to acrobatics again. She hurts herself and I cringe and she doesn’t even cry. It seems that she has a very high tolerance for pain and it scares me to death. She runs from me in dangerous situations and she never ever slows down. She stops about twice a day to wrap her arms around my neck and I try to hold on for dear life but within 30 seconds she is gone sgain. There are no story times because she can’t/won’t listen or even look at the pretty pictures. We have had to give our dogs away because she hurts them trying to love them so hard. She may sleep 5-6 hours a night, even if its been the longest, toughest day. I have had to completely undecorate our home because she either tears it apart or gets hurt. I waited for my angel for 8 years and I’ll take her just the way she is, but how will the rest of the world. I get compliments all the time on how beautiful she is and two minutes later it’s “How do you do it?” I want to help her, not me. I don’t want people to think that she is a “bad” child. How can an almost 3 year old be bad? Her impulsive behavior scares sitters because they are worried that she may get hurt under their care and I understand, I do. My mother who lives on the other side of the country is wonderful with her but those visits are few and far between each year. I love my daughter and I want her to be safe.
i hope its ok for a father to comment this sounds just like my youngest 2 and a half year old from the moment he wakes he never stops hes very clever and he picks things up straight away he also never stays by my side you have to let them go to a point he was walking at 8 months and would never sit in his stroller for more than a few minutes its hard but just let them be his older brother is the complete opposite and imust admit some days i wish my youngest was like this only to give me some peace ha ha
Hello – just an update on my situation. New thing is Tantrums. Thought I was blessed as did not have the terrible 2′s or 3′s -bypassed the 4′s – we now have nuclear F#*!ing awful 5′s. my when my over – active boy loses control he really loses it.
please tell me this is the norm (as much as it can be??)
All I can say is Im not alone. I keep this all in and to read you all letting it all out and not judging each other is like food for my soul. Its isolating and lonely at times. we cant go the restaurants as our 4 yr runs off and drives people crazy. He means well, but he has no boundaries,He says “excuse me”, then launches into just chatting to strangers asking them questions showing them things etc. We end up leaving from all the dirty looks. We cant even do sports with him either as he gets over excited and disrupts the game or lesson, which some competitive parents hate! We are housebound and sooo sick of parks… We go to preschool and there is never an invite to a party in his pigeon hole. its so heartbreaking because he is such a kind loving little person. We are just string investigations now. not thrilled about the possibility of meds but need to help him fit in as best as we can. God bless you all.
I am VERY happy that I stummbled upon this! I have a VERY energetic 3 and a half year old and I have narcolepsy ..fuuun lol!! Shes always had energy but I swear the month of her 3rd birthday is when she became what I call her..”the crazy person” lol. She used to nap once a day, but now she will literally hold her mouth wide open if it means it will hold her eyes open and she will move around like a phene when she is tired to keep herself awake. When she is not over tired she is crazy but not as frantic. She has to touch everything. Out to dinner with her can be hectic she likes to hang on me the whole time. On the flip side she is VERY smart, smarter than all of the other kids her age and she peferes to play with older kids, she loves to sing and dance and everyone that meets her gushes over her lol. That doesnt help because she knows shes a princess. I just do not know how to get her to settle down. She does gymnastics twice a week, we do day trips, but if she thinks shes going to fall asleep all hell breaks loose. This post really made me realize that I need to let her be her more. I do tend to tell her to stand by me and shush her. Shes a very artsy kid and more often then not people enjoy her, but like I said at tired times shes not good energetic shes bad and shes a completely different kid. sigh… its even harder with my narcolepsy.
My 5 year old is too hyper and wild I can’t keep up.
He runs a lot going through some test in 2 weeks
I apologize for the length….. :)
Wow, reading this was interesting. I was one of those kids. Lemme tell you, the energy never ends. I am 24 now and still have more energy than all my other friends my age. I sleep great, wake up rested and happy, and love being alive. I find excitement in all aspects of life. I get distracted by beautiful insects that fly around, or beautiful flowers…. I stop and admire their beauty and ponder about life. I must say, though, that my dad really hated my energy. When I was a child I would make up wild stories and just talk and talk and tell my parents these stories. My mom loved them. My dad often was too busy watching tv and wanted to hear his important tv shows, and would tell me to shut up, go in the back room and make noise back there, etc. Eventually, I learned not to talk to him anymore. I knew from a young age he wasnt interested. That has always stuck with me. My relationship with my dad is utterly terrible. I never talk to him even though we live in the same house. On the other hand, my mom, I am very close to. She pretty much always embraced my craziness that is still with me to this day. She encouraged my energy and played with me even when I knew she was exhausted. She tried and I sensed that as a child. I understood she couldnt ALWAYS play with me.
Even now sometimes for fun I research things on the internet (usually health related) and when I am excited, I instantly get up and go share with my mother what I have just learned. “Did you know….?” “Guess what?” “Hey mom, I just learned….”. I am sure she gets annoyed with me. But, I get excited over all the marvelous things in life. I guess what I am trying to say is, I am sure it might get annoying when your child is that way, but please try to get the child to constructively use their energy. My mom tried to get me in dance class, but I didnt want to do it anymore because I caught on so quickly that I felt the class was boringly slow. It was tap/ballet, and I was only about 6. Instead, she enrolled me in many school activities. I was in chorus for 3 years, peacekeepers for 2 (if children got in fights during recess, we would help them solve their issues), helped with handicapped children for 2 years, joined the 100 book club, and joined an advanced math class…. all in elementary school. I find people always taking their children to the doctors because their energy is abnormal is scary. I think a certain extent of high energy is fine. When you keep telling your kids over and over that youre uninterested or they talk to much or that there is something wrong with them, it really crushes their spirit that makes them, them. That is why my relationship with my dad is zero. Thank goodness I retained my happiness despite his negativity even to this day. I am the most optimistic in my family, most energetic, most go get em’ and just most happy to be alive and happy to have what I have. I am thankful for these traits, wherever I got them from. Maybe my mother was this way, but it got beat out of her, who knows. I remember my great grammy was this way and she lived to 103. She water skiied for the first time in her 70s. LOL.
There are pros and cons for having a mentality like this. In case youre wondering how an energetic person/child feels, here is how it feels for me!
Pros:
Lots of energy
Very optimistic
Love to learn
Love to help people
Love to be alive
Cons:
No one is as energetic as you and it can be boring to have everyone else not able to keep up with you
A lot of classes go too slow, resulting in poor grades due to boredness
A lot of people mistake your energy and do not understand you sometimes
For me it lead to anxiety because I hadnt learned to properly use my energy, resulting it in being held inside and I would get severe anxiety problems. I would get sick for many months. I also had separation anxiety as a child. I learned to conquer my anxiety (by lots of exercise) and now have it on lock
I am getting married and my fiance gets tired 3-4 hours before me! I understand though. :)
I cannot nap. But I sleep amazing at night!
One last important thing… other peoples lack of optimism can lead to depression for you. I want other people to be happy and enjoy life like me. When they dont, it makes me really sad. When I ask people how theyre doing, and they say, “Ehh… today kind of sucks.” then I say, “You have two arms and two legs, dont you?” and they say, “Yes!” I then tell them, “Then you have reasons to be happy!”
Sorry this is extremely long but I want to help :)
Do I think I have ADHD? No, I dont think so. I can pay attention to something if I choose to. I just feel that everything is interesting and there is always something new to learn about everything. Do I feel I need drugs for that? HECK no. I would rather be this way than any other way, despite the issues that can come with it!
Thank goodness my fiance is patient and loves hearing what I learn! He loves seeing my excitement. He is just the man the completes me. I am very happy :’)
Hope this helps! :)
-Katy <3
wow great blog.. it made a lot of sense to me to embrace my child.. he is much like your child. Always going. Never hearing me say stop or recognizing that im tied up and cannot run that fast..but this blog mad a lot of sense..i will for sure try this technique and try to embrace his high energy..after all it is a gift.. I can see it so clearly now.. thanks..
I’m so glad to have found this page, I too struggle with how best to deal with my 4 year old son, torn between teaching him ‘how to behave properly’ in public which means I spend most of the time telling him off it seems, and switching to thinking he is just lively, inquisitive, intelligent little boy. He will run off in shops, he talks non-stop, but also hates loud noises,parties etc ( a bit antisocial !)
He sleeps well and always has done although his average is 9-10 hours a night not the 11-12 that guideline says. He eats well and loves his fruit and veg. But when he is the one child in a group that does run off, doesn’t do as you ask him, throws terrible temper tantrums which involves biting, scratching, kicking…. you can’t help but think ‘what is wrong with my child?’.
He also gets hyper and naughty when tired which other people who don’t know him wouldn’t realise he was tired and probably do judge. I don’t really care though what other people think. I have a beautiful, loving little boiy who loves to give kisses and cuddles. I just need to learn how to work with him better to channel what will be great qualities as he gets older.
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