The Power of Play: Noticing=Nurturing

I’m oh-so-happy to be back!  Last month I talked about some of the different types of parent/child play.  Each type has it’s own purpose in the development of your relationship and in turn, your child’s perception of him or herself and their place in the world.  In other words…that parenting gig you thought was so tough?  It’s even tougher than you thought.  It turns out that your child’s relationship with you, which continues to develop well into the 4th year, sets the ground work for self esteem and their role in every other relationship.   Okay, so I am laying on the pressure…but this is a good thing because it means you get to do all this through PLAY!  This week, I am focusing on nurturing play.  As our kiddos get past preschool age, nurturing can be hard to do.  They quickly blur past you through the room…and they’re a bit slippery when you try to grab hold for a squeeze and a smooch.  Thankfully, there are other ways to nurture your child through play. The most important thing to remember about nurturing is that it’s not just about hugs and kisses.  It also has a lot to do with noticing.  How many times have you heard “Mom, watch this…” or “Look at me!”?  That’s your kid saying “NOTICE me”.  As parents, we most usually respond with “good job”.  But, when we say that, we are judging.  What we really want to do is notice.  A good guide is to think like this: Can a camera record what I am about to say?  You can’t record what “good job Suzy” looks like on camera.  You CAN record “you made a tall tower and knocked it down!  It was really tall and made a big crash! You are really smiling!”  Noticing helps kids feel like they are truly seen and understood.  I hope you enjoy this activity.  I’d love to hear some feedback too.  Are there certain goals you would like help with?  Feel free to let me know!

Activity: All About Me

Ages: 3 and up (and yes, even pre-teens and teens love this)

Materials required: You can use either a large butcher block piece of paper (large enough for your child to lay on) and crayons/markers or you can get out your sidewalk chalk and head out to the patio or driveway.

Goal: make your kiddo feel like the most special person on the planet….through your eyes.

Using your materials, have your kiddo lay down on his or her back with arms and legs slightly away from their bodies.  You can give them a choice of what color they want to use for their body.  Draw an outline of your kiddo from head to toe.  Most kids really enjoy the tracing.  Some kiddos take it very seriously.  After you have traced their body, get out the other colors and start noticing.

“Big strong hands. Fast feet.  Smarts in your head.  Arms that are good for hugging.  Giggles in your belly.  Big brown eyes.  Long eyelashes.  A generous heart.  Brave. ”

As you are noticing, label these things on the body outline.  For older kiddos, you can get more symbolic ( a peace sign for a calm spirit, for example).  You can label, draw, color.   Get creative…brave can be labeled in the tummy or if they have a scar somewhere on their body from an accident or a surgery. Fast feet can have air racing past them.

Be sure you are noticing true aspects of your child.  Clothing and shoes are not part of your kiddo.  Sometimes kids will bring these up.  They might say “I like my shoes”.  I just say “Yes, but…your shoes are not a PART of you.  Even if you had no shoes, you would still be special”.  When you are finished noticing, ask your child to help you decorate with clothes and accessories.

I hope you enjoy this and have a playful day!

Best,

Tina

Tina is a full time working mom.  She is a mental heath therapist (LSCSW) and registered play therapist supervisor (RPT-S).  She is married to an incredibly tolerant and patient dude and has “just one” adorable tot.  She laughs too loud, talks too much and usually creates a scene.  She can be found writing on Bull in a China Shop in her spare time.